The Never Ending Waiting Game
Nothing frustrates me more than the ever present waiting game of infertility. I'm usually a pretty patient person but the endless waiting over and over...and then finding out we have to wait some more is enough to make anyone insane. It's not even one kind of waiting either, there are multiple facets of the waiting. Every month is waiting for the ovulation test to turn positive, then the two week wait after ovulation to see if the pregnancy test turns positive. It inevitably doesn't and then comes the wait for your period to start. Phew...the waiting is over now right? NOPE. Cycle starts all over again...this time waiting for your period to end so you can start taking ovulation tests. It's exhausting.
But then there is the bigger waiting game... When can we do our next IVF cycle? Obviously we want to try again as soon as possible because my clock is ticking it's little heart away but everything takes SO LONG. Unfortunately my chemical pregnancy just delayed the process which brings its own frustrations but at least that lead to my doctor getting more testing done right? Well...yes but my question is why aren't these tests just done in the beginning? They didn't even cost me anything to get done. I feel like doctors should at least explain all of the testing options to patients up front, explaining what they look for, what the results would tell us and what their recommendations are because if I had known and it were up to me then I would have gotten a full work up regardless of the cost.
But anyways, I had to get my DHEA, testosterone and anti-thyroid antibodies tested to rule some other stuff out. Everything came back relatively normal except for my DHEA was on the low side. So my doctor now wants me to start taking DHEA 3 times a day. The hope is that the DHEA will "wake up" more follicles so that I will have more growing whenever we do our next IVF cycle. Where is the catch you ask? It takes 8 weeks to kick in! So in 8 weeks I have to get more blood work to recheck my levels, including my AMH and also get an ultrasound to do a follicle count. Thus the epic waiting game continues.
I was hoping to do my second IVF cycle in April, but then COVID Happened...and then May, but then I got pregnant...and then June, but I had to get more blood work done...and then July...and then August. Now it's not going to be until October at the earliest and with my luck, something else will come up that will delay it even more. I see people on forums and facebook groups talking about how they did back to back IVF cycles or had one cycle in between as a break. By the time I get to try again it will have been 7-8 months after my first cycle. That is almost the length of an entire pregnancy and I just can't get that out of my head.
I'm not the type of person that is content with "doing nothing" when it comes to trying to have a child. We are at the point now where it feels like if we aren't doing fertility treatments then it feels like we are "doing nothing" even if we are still trying naturally. I'm almost afraid to try naturally now because if I have another loss then that will delay treatments even more. Does that even make any sense? Obviously it's preferred to get pregnant naturally and not have to spend $20,000 right? Logic and reason kind of go out the window at this point I guess.